GN and the unconfirmed dates

I was GN’s (short for Gnarly Nail as on our first meeting this thumb nail looked like it had taken a bashing – horrible nickname I know!) first ever Tinder date – he’d been single for about seven months, but hadn’t tried Tinder before. A minor niggle – what if his head got turned by the swiping and the choice? He’s too new to know the negatives.

But he seemed cute, had good grammar and worked close to me, so when he wanted to meet pretty early on, I agreed to a quick Tuesday night drink. We met and chatted and in general it was fine – as you’d expect for a quick Tuesday night first date. And there were a couple of moments when I felt a mild degree of attraction, but nothing more.

When we left, he walked away without seeming in any way interested in a second date and I didn’t mind too much. But the next day he messaged asking to see me again – surprising and flattering to be honest – and we set up a second date, this time on a Saturday night – so a proper date!

However, on Saturday morning he messaged to say he was feeling ill and wasn’t sure he’d be able to make it. He said he’d see how he felt later, but in the meantime if I wanted to make alternative plans, he’d understand. Fair enough. I told him to take care of himself and let me know.

Then I didn’t hear from him till 6pm when he messaged to say he was feeling better if I still wanted to meet up. I replied with a jokey message that it’d be great to meet so long as he wasn’t planning on infecting me and rushed off to start getting ready – no time to lose, it was 6 o’clock after all!

But twenty minutes later with my outfit chosen and my hair done, there was no response to my last message, I started to wonder what was going on. We hadn’t actually set a time or a place to meet yet. Eventually I got a rather ambiguous message that left me no clearer as to whether we were actually meeting or not…

After another 15 minutes and no further response, I gave up and suggested we don’t bother. I was a bit peeved to be honest – it was almost seven o’clock by this time and I did feel this could have been sorted earlier. But I also decided to give him the benefit of the doubt – it’s not fun to be ill and maybe he did really want to see me. He said so anyway.

We tried to reschedule but he wasn’t much of a texter and his responses were so slow that I got a bit frustrated by the whole thing – and because I’m not one to hold back, I told him!

Phone issues apparently (queue eye roll), but I agreed to meet him on Saturday, which was the next day. As was beginning to seem like a habit with GN, of course by 4.30 the next afternoon we still hadn’t arranged what we were doing and when and where we were meeting. It was incredibly frustrating. Eventually, at 5.15 he asked me if I had any suggestions about what we do – not exactly going all out to impress me here, but I told myself it did mean I could pick a wine bar walking distance from my flat.

Once we eventually met, we had a good time and there was definitely a spark between us. I can’t say there were no awkward moments, but generally it was a better date than I’d had in months. He was complimentary, intelligent and a good listener. And there was a nice kiss at the end of the evening.

He sent some sweet messages the next day – he liked kissing me, he wanted to say more but wouldn’t for now, when could he see me again… It was all very nice and we set up a third date for the next Thursday.

Of course, come Thursday we hadn’t arranged a place or a time. Although he had confirmed on Wednesday that he’d like to see me the next day. Eventually, at 5pm (so frustrating – why does he have to be so last minute the whole time?!) he suggested meeting at the pub opposite my work. No thanks – half my colleagues would be in there! I suggested (me again – it would have been nice on a third date if he’d made an effort) an alternative close by and he said he just had to make a work call so could we meet at six. But just as I was leaving, he messaged to say he was still on the call and could we push it back a bit – what time he didn’t say.

I sat in my office, in full make up waiting for him to message and tell me what time he would be free for an hour (obviously I sent a couple of chaser messages and he even replied to one saying he was still on the call) before I eventually gave up, sent this and blocked him…

I went off to have pizza and wine with a friend instead. But I ended up unblocking him after several friends I messaged about it acted like it wasn’t that big a deal to be stuck on a work call, and I worried I’d over-reacted. I got this…

I felt bad and after a bit of a text discussion, we arranged what should have been a fifth date, but was actually going to be a third for the next week. Although, he wasn’t messaging as much and at this point I wasn’t pushing it either.

He contacted me at lunchtime the day before our planned date to confirm we were meeting and to suggest a place. Maybe he was learning?

But no. That evening I got a message telling me he’d done some soul-searching…

I wasn’t exactly surprised, although a little bit sad as I’d been attracted to him. I politely declined his hint of something more casual – he was more the type of guy I’d develop feelings for than someone I could be casual with – and that was that.

Until today…

So, do I respond? He came up with every excuse under the book for being so useless at arranging dates and this feels a bit like another one. Maybe he’s discovered Tinder isn’t that great after all. Maybe he’s horny. He was at least honest enough to say he didn’t want anything serious last time. But does he now? Maybe he only thinks he does. Maybe he’s seen my new WhatsApp profile pic with my new haircut. Who knows?! I don’t, so I’m asking you – what do I do?