Yesterday dating blogger Alice (check out her blog here – https://aliceinwonderlust.com) nominated me to write a ‘seven facts about me’ blog as part of a blogger chain called the Versatile Bloggers’ Award. Well seven facts about me seemed a fairly innocuous topic so I thought why not? As my blog is a dating blog, I thought I’d make these love-life related facts.
1. I lost my virginity aged 16 to a teacher (not one of mine or even one who worked at my school) twice my age. It wasn’t a perfect experience (unsurprisingly) and I didn’t see him ever again (my choice), but I’m generally OK about it. I was ready and very curious to have sex, but not in the slightest bit ready to have a relationship. Maybe I could have chosen a better (younger) guy, but the way it happened was probably inevitable.
2. My first serious boyfriend told me he loved me drunkenly in a barely comprehensible text. He’d come back from two months abroad and gone straight off to meet his friends, which I was pretty hurt by. He’d messaged me to say he was back, and then a few hours later, he sent me a message telling me he was drunk and out with his friends. He finished it by saying ‘i LOve yoU’ exactly like that. It was a mess. But I kept that message for as long as I had that phone.
3. A colleague once kissed me at a party and I didn’t know what to do, so I counted to five then pulled away. He’d been telling me about his ex-girlfriend and I thought it was just a nice deepish chat, but then he suddenly kissed me. I didn’t want to reject him horribly after he’d been sharing all his feelings with me, so I counted to five before I stopped the kiss and found an excuse to head back in from the balcony.
4. I was once ghosted by a guy who friended me on Facebook two months later. I really liked that guy at the time – and I was seriously attracted to him. It hurt a lot when he ghosted me, and it came out of nowhere. We’d been seeing each other for two months and had messaged the day before and agreed to meet the next day, but then suddenly nothing – he disappeared. When he friended me on Facebook, I wrote to him, and got no response again. Eventually I checked out his Facebook profile… and there were a load of pictures of him and his wife.
5. In my experience fuck buddies are easier in theory than in practice. I’ve had two. The first was an Australian who was appallingly selfish in bed (not an ideal quality in a fuck buddy) and the second was a finance guy I was very attracted to but didn’t click with personality-wise. I knew I didn’t want to date either of them, but I did end up feeling a bit muddled by the situation in both cases. It’s not easy to ringfence physical attraction. I wish it were.
6. The qualities I’m most attracted to are intelligence, competence and the ability to tease. Excluding the obvious need to not find someone physically repulsive, if a guy has brains and knows how to use them; if he can tell me things I don’t know and hold his own in debates, I’m going to notice that guy. And especially if he seems to be running his own life well. I don’t want to feel like I need to manage someone’s life and a guy who seems to be in control of where he is in life is attractive. And as for the final thing – who doesn’t like someone who can tease and flirt with them?!
7. I still miss my ex-boyfriend. We broke up around seven months ago and for reasons that made sense, but I still think about him every day and I miss talking to him and having him close by. I have to fight hard the urge to message him at least once a week, many weeks more frequently than that. It’s a sad thing to lose someone.
So, those are my seven facts. I’m supposed to nominate fifteen bloggers in turn to do the same thing. Well, I don’t know if any of my list below would want to write a seven things blog so I’m not going to nominate them (it’s entirely up to them), but I am going to list my fifteen favourite (mainly) dating blogs – if you haven’t read them, you should: they are really great (and written by some very lovely people):