SG lives in South London and getting to his requires a half an hour train ride. What’s more, he works in North London, just a few stops past my place on the Tube. As a result, when we see each other, we tend to stay at mine during the week and his at weekends. But, despite the distance, staying at SG’s has a few advantages over staying at mine. I live in a rented flatshare – and while it’s fairly spacious, the decor is mostly on the Ikea, cheap-and-cheerful side, and of course, there are the two flatmates.
SG owns his own home. And while it may be far out and nowhere near the Tube, it’s big and private. It’s ultimate suburbia – a three bedroom, 1930s semi to be precise. The first time I went there, I thought I’d never get over the claustrophobia, but I’ve come to appreciate the pluses over time (hanging out in the huge garden over the summer definitely helped with this!)
Anyway, we had a chat the other day about what the next steps in our relationship would be and we (or mainly I) came to the conclusion that, if at some point we were to want to live together, it would probably have to start off at his – as he owns and I rent, it seemed the fairest thing to me.
SG had a rather strange idea that we’d wait till I had a deposit (which I’m saving up for – hence the cheap flatshare – but it’ll take me another couple of years at the rate I’m going) and then I’d have somewhere to go if it didn’t work out between the two of us. It’s sweet, but doesn’t really stand up to scrutiny as an idea. To be honest, when he said this, I had to bite my tongue to stop myself telling him pretty sharply how silly I thought it was (what if I do Help to Buy – I’m pretty sure you have to live there; why would I live in a flatshare for another two years just to buy a place I’m not going to live in; I couldn’t afford it without tenants and then I still wouldn’t have anywhere to live if we broke up; it’s different type of mortgage for buy-to-let homes which needs a higher deposit; if it worked out, we’d be stuck living at his place, which is not my dream home in any way, shape or form, etc.).
Once I’d pointed out (very tactfully and politely) that this wasn’t exactly practical, SG suggested I try spending a week at his to get comfortable with staying there more. But SG travels a fair bit for work and usually spends at least one night away during the week. I didn’t want to stay at his without him being around – I didn’t think I’d feel comfortable yet.
Poor old SG was a bit stumped at this point, so as a first step, I offered to stay at his on a week night to see how it was going to work from there. As a result, I found myself on a train south last Monday for what turned out to be a fairly nice, chilled evening at SG’s and actually an easy trip into work the next day. No sex though – but that’s a subject for another post.